Everyone thinks of Florida as the most beautiful place to live. The palm trees, the clear water, the white sand, this is the vision in our heads since we are little growing up in the North. Well, sorry to crush your little dream! Florida is totally different!!

People- ignorant and rude. They are too high to raise their kids and to teach them morals and values. MOST, NOT all! People talk about Southern hospitality..where? I did meet some people who were very sweet, very “southern” and just plain ‘ol nice.

Bugs- OMG, they are all on steroids! Every night when the sun goes down and the sky turns red and blue (which is gorgeous), the bugs come out. Mosquitoes, gnats, wasps, and the fully feared palmetto bug.I can write a post on this bug AKA satans spawn! These bugs are called Palmetto bugs AKA American cockroaches. The grow to 4 inches long, fly and invade your home when the weather gets cold or rainy. They have no fear and I compare them to the taliban because these things terrorize you! You don’t need a dirty house for them to enter in. They have no manners at all- if they can’t get to the food, they will settle on plastic. Yes, they will eat plastic! They are disgusting!! Any tiny hole in your home will have an “enter” sign on it for these marvels of nature. Ok, enough of them, I can go on and on- they amaze me with their grossness (is that a word?)

Beaches- we are on the Gulf Coast of Florida. Little did we know, that on the West coast of Florida, there are NO beaches with waves! All the “beaches” that are here are like lakes with water in the tune of 85 degrees! It’s like swimming in sea weed and piss!

Weather– it doesn’t rain here. They call Florida the “Sunshine State” and they ain’t kidding. It rains here maybe 1 time a month. But when it does, it pours! (Watch for those palmettos in your garage or kitchen!!) The sun is not just hot, it’s H-O-T! In NY I used baby oil and laid out in the sun. I got red under my eyes and it was gone the next day. I laid out in the sun here for 1 hour and I didn’t turn red, I got dark brown, hurt for 3 days and kept my tan for a month!

Kids- I have never seen such rude kids in my life! The go on everyone’s lawns, through their backyards and just walk into your house! (I have 2 teenage boys). We taught our kids to knock, even when invited in, and never just walk into someone’s house- these kids don’t do that. If my son is coming in for some water, the others will walk right through your house without being asked in. RUDE! They look at what you have and wait for you to leave to get into your house to rob you- EVEN IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD!

Pets- Dogs and cats are everywhere! Most people have 2 or 3 dogs, at least. The problem with this? Because of the tropical, sunny, hot, muggy weather ALL the time, the fleas run rampant! There is no dirt here, it’s a mixture of dirt and sand- so there are sand fleas and regular fleas. They hop onto your pets and defy you to try to get rid of them.

Jobs- HAHAHAHAHAHA..what jobs? There are none here! This is a right to work state and if you are a veteran, a senior or a criminal, then you can have a job! The companies here get tax breaks for hiring these people. Now, there’s nothing wrong with hiring a veteran, but these people have pension and social security checks coming in and now another income. The regular people with NO money coming in, can’t find a job for shit!

Housing- Forclosures, vacant houses, crack houses..everywhere! Each block has about 3-4 vacant houses. These poor people were forclosed on because they couldn’t find a job. Banks don’t give a shit, so there are garage sales everywhere of people trying to either A) get some money for their mortgages or B) running to another state and selling everything they own. Now, on the other hand, it is very easy to own a home here in Florida. Because of all the forclosures, there are alot of people who “flip” houses here and you can easily get an owner finance deal (but of course the house that’s worth  $30,000 will be financed to you for $70,000.

The good things here are that there’s no real competition for kids. In NY, if you didn’t carry an IPhone, you were shit. If you didn’t buy your clothes at a big brand name store, you were shit. Here in Florida, everyone shops at Walmart and everyone dresses the same and has the same.

Another good thing about here is that there are kids playing outside all day and night long. Not everyone has a computer and no one here can afford after school activities. So kids here amuse themselves with jump ropes, bike riding, racing from house to house and play with dolls and have good old fashioned fun.

Jeanine’s Opinion:

DO NOT move to Florida if you have kids, need health insurance, have to find a job or if you are squeemish about bugs.

DO move to Florida if you are a veteran (you won’t have to pay taxes on your house), have a set income and already on Medicare from Social Security.

Why are we here? We had that thought of beautiful Florida in our heads and felt it was the best, most affordable place to go with a family.


3 responses »

  1. Jeanine says:

    If you have teenagers, I don’t recommend it. The kids here suck! lol Most of them are on drugs, rob houses and are SO rude and ignorant- I have 2 teenage boys and we have more problems here with peer pressure then back in NY. If you are able to mind your business and not get too close, then I say go for it. I live on the Gulf Coast and that’s what it’s like here. Try to get a feel for the area your moving to and take it from there. Also, make sure you have a steady income, it’s almost impossible to find a job here….Good Luck and any questions, I’ll be happy to answer honestly!

  2. michele says:

    Haha! I think it is so funny that you wrote this. Just this week I was trying to convince my husband that we should start thinking about moving to Florida.
    You kind of burst my bubble hahaha. Do you really not recommend it?

  3. cindy says:

    LOL….u r right the idea in our minds of how Florida looks is much better than actual reality! but much of ‘real life” is just like that! I had those visions of how wonderful it would be to have a couple of kids and a great husband…now that hubby gets on my last nerve and the kids are driving me completely nutty!!!! *or is that the other way around???** BUT THAT JUST GOES TO PROVE TO YA, YOU NEED TO MOVE TO THE GREAT STATE OF ALABAMA. we definitely have the southern hospitality, the dogs that know what “GET!!!” means and if there’s a kid at your house you have every right to get the switch a hold of their asses just as you would your own. Actually it’s preferred that you do the latter. We WANT our children to mind the rules of life and to know there are responsibilities and consequences of life!!!! PS OH YEAH AND WE’VE GOT THE BEST HOME COOKIN’ YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT EATING~~~~ 🙂

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